Many people would try to claim the following story as purely fictitious, which is why I have provided pictorial evidence to prove that the following events did indeed occur as they are written.
Once upon a time the Chally family all sat down for a nice Christmas dinner.
It was the greatest Christmas feast any of them had ever seen. There was Turkey and Duck, Cabbage and Kiefla and butter with broccoli mixed in.
But the centerpiece of the entire feast was a magic jello that would turn you into an elf.
Grandma ate half the bowl.
After dinner James turned to Dad
“Father, could you pass me the egg nog?”
“My son, why ever would you request such a thing?” (he only said this because he had secretly drank all the egg nog.)
“Because father it contains 100% of my daily dose of holiday cheer.”
“Well we’re all out.”
“What?!” James said
“Did you drink all the egg nog?” Ali asked dad
“ummmh…yes.”
Everyone stared at dad with incredulity.
Joe tore off all his clothes and went into mourning. (We didn’t see him again for many days.)
Dad had a sappy look on his face that said “what?”
“If I don’t get any holiday cheer I fear I may start to throw things.” James said.
Mom spoke up, “Maybe we can find some holiday cheer by opening presents.” Everyone agreed that this was a very good idea. There were many presents under the tree in many colors. Many people got very nice things,
All James received was a pair of rusty hedge clippers.
“This doesn’t fill me with very much holiday cheer” James said.
And with that he ran outside and began throwing Christmas trees.
Pete and Mike ran outside and tried to calm James down.
“James no, you don’t throw Christmas trees” Pete said, “you decorate them with ceramic figurines of popular movie and television characters sold at rediculously inflated prices .”
James was not amused, so Mike spoke up.
“No you balance them on your chin”
This made James even angrier and he resumed his tirade.
Finally Mike convinced James to calm down and contemplate Christmas over some fine tobacco products.
After they had finished the cigars James said, “I didn’t come up with any answers.”
“I didn’t either” Mike said.
“Maybe we should smoke some more.”
“I agree.”
Once upon a time the Chally family all sat down for a nice Christmas dinner.
It was the greatest Christmas feast any of them had ever seen. There was Turkey and Duck, Cabbage and Kiefla and butter with broccoli mixed in.
But the centerpiece of the entire feast was a magic jello that would turn you into an elf.
Grandma ate half the bowl.
After dinner James turned to Dad
“Father, could you pass me the egg nog?”
“My son, why ever would you request such a thing?” (he only said this because he had secretly drank all the egg nog.)
“Because father it contains 100% of my daily dose of holiday cheer.”
“Well we’re all out.”
“What?!” James said
“Did you drink all the egg nog?” Ali asked dad
“ummmh…yes.”
Everyone stared at dad with incredulity.
Joe tore off all his clothes and went into mourning. (We didn’t see him again for many days.)
Dad had a sappy look on his face that said “what?”
“If I don’t get any holiday cheer I fear I may start to throw things.” James said.
Mom spoke up, “Maybe we can find some holiday cheer by opening presents.” Everyone agreed that this was a very good idea. There were many presents under the tree in many colors. Many people got very nice things,
All James received was a pair of rusty hedge clippers.
“This doesn’t fill me with very much holiday cheer” James said.
And with that he ran outside and began throwing Christmas trees.
Pete and Mike ran outside and tried to calm James down.
“James no, you don’t throw Christmas trees” Pete said, “you decorate them with ceramic figurines of popular movie and television characters sold at rediculously inflated prices .”
James was not amused, so Mike spoke up.
“No you balance them on your chin”This made James even angrier and he resumed his tirade.
Finally Mike convinced James to calm down and contemplate Christmas over some fine tobacco products.
After they had finished the cigars James said, “I didn’t come up with any answers.”
“I didn’t either” Mike said.
“Maybe we should smoke some more.”
“I agree.”
1 comment:
I'm glad I now know how you'll look after 50 years and some bad jello
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